Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
