The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize