You work out of a Hotel?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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