with your own penis?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
