I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
