How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
