I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ladies don't puke and tell
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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