You surviving the open bar?
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im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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