i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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