I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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