drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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