we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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