i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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