so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
