If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i drank out of a bidet.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need to calm my uterus...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
