marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
