this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
