i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My ass is underappreciated
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
