Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
