Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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