I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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