well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You can't just leave with hair like that
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
did you just send me my own nude
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize