i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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