ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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