didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize