Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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