At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
