I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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