Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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