hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
