Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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