So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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