how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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