:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
