we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
