They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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