Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
