Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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