Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize