My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize