my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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