He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
