I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize