I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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