Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
