my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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