You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize