New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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