we're blogging at a bar
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Help. Why am I so naked?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
