she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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