we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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