I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize