Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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