If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
