college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
