Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
