Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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