Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
