it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
