so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
don't judge my taste in strippers
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
