i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
