careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
