if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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