I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
