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She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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